Edalia Elric
by luluhrh
Summary: My version of Fem!Ed! Also includes Fem!Al and Male!Winry. My Fem!Al is Alleda and my Male!Winry is Winter. So basically, Ed and Al have been hiding their genders for years. But it's getting harder. . . and soon enough, everyone might know. Also has Male!Mei (Mic). Rated T because it's Ed. Romance, drama, probably some humor. EDWIN and AlMei. BROTHERHOOD! Love ya! lulu
1. Chapter 1

**Okay. I have a question for myself that I want you to hear the answer to (because some of you MIGHT have this question yourselves).**

**Question: Why the hell am I doing this?**

**Answer: Boredom. Besides, I got the idea and don't want to lose it.**

**So! Let us begin.**

**But first, I must ****Disclaim**** this material. Because I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Nor do I own the idea of Fem!Ed. Fem!Ed has been around for far longer than I've been reading/writing fanfiction. So has Fem!Al. And Male!Winry. Yeah. Genderbending! Fun stuff!**

**Now, watch as I spin a tale of secrets and crushes. . . OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH juicy delicious secrets! Love triangles! Unrequited love! Requited love! YAY!~**

**Let's do this!**

Edward Elric was filled with secrets. His biggest was that he and his brother had committed human transmutation at the ages of eleven and ten, and that was why Edward's right arm and left leg were made of automail and Alphonse was merely a suit of armor bonded with a soul.

The second largest secret? Edward and Alphonse Elric, the most famous brothers in Amestris. . . were sisters.

Yep. Sisters.

Edalia and Alleda Elric had never really embraced their femininity. They were always too interested in alchemy to act like the girls they were. Even Winter Rockbell, Edalia's automail mechanic, sometimes forgot that the two were of the fairer gender.

When Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye came by, they were told that the siblings were brothers: Edward and Alphonse Elric. It was a farce that the sisters had pulled often. With their short hair and non-gender specific clothing, they convinced the entire town of Risembool that they were boys. Pinako Rockbell quite enjoyed this sport and had grown used to introducing the siblings as "the Elric brothers, Edward and Alphonse." Winter had all but forgotten that the two weren't boys, and was therefore quite comfortable in introducing them as such. Both were so comfortable, in fact, that they mistakenly informed the military man and woman that the two were brothers.

When Ed decided to try and become a state alchemist, she continued pretending to be a boy. She didn't know if females were even allowed to sit through the state alchemy exam. Besides, she was used to pretending to be a boy. It made her feel comfortable, safe. She alone knew what she was, out of all of the military men and women. She alone knew her secret.

And having THAT over Mustang was. . . wonderful. She didn't let it show, but knowing that he didn't know she was a girl was incredible.

As a matter of fact, no one did. The doctors that delivered Ed and Al were none other than Sarah and Urey Rockbell, and Pinako kept the papers confirming the girls' births. When Ed confirmed that she and Al wanted to be known as boys, Pinako made the necessary adjustments to the papers of her surrogate granddaughters.

For three years, Edalia Elric had kept up this subterfuge. Still, even girls who aren't all that feminine need to do girly things once in a while. . . and shopping really was therapeutic sometimes.

"Al! I'm going out!" Edalia called to her younger sister.

"Do you have your disguise on, Brother?" Alleda called. She'd gotten used to addressing her older sibling as such, as it made it easier to keep up their pretense.

Edalia laughed. "Of course, Al. I'm never forgetting it again!" She shuddered, remembering The Incident*****. "Nope, never again."

"Good, have fun then!"

"Will do!"

Ed crept out of the hotel, careful to avoid being seen by anyone. Her hair was down, reaching just below her shoulder blades. She wore a red T-shirt, a black leather jacket, and a black not-too-mini miniskirt with special automail-disguising gray fleece leggings. Her normal white gloves were on. Her platform boots were on, too, but they were transmuted into low heels. Her purse's zipper pull was shaped like a Flamel. She was aware of the fact that her outfit was similar to her regular clothing, but why do away with a good style? Besides, Ed knew she didn't look very different from the billions of Edward Elric fangirls she seemed to run into everywhere.

She had her cover story ready, of course. She was Ennaline Elric, cousin of Edward Elric. She had convincing fake papers, too, thanks again to the Rockbells.

She wasn't particularly concerned about being found out, though. She was a little preoccupied with. . . other thoughts.

_Can't believe the Colonel was being such an ass!_

That was the real reason Ed had needed a shopping trip: to rant internally at the annoying bastard that was Roy Mustang.

_He thinks he can say whatever he wants to me! "Oh, Fullmetal, it's a good thing my paperwork didn't fall on you, or we never would have found you!" "Hey, Alphonse, where's your brother? Oh, never mind, found him! He's down there!" It's. . . It's just. . . ARGH! He's impossible!_

_I wonder what he would think if he knew the truth. . ._

"Whoa! Hey, watch where you're going!"

Ed jumped. "Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Yeah, you should be!" the man she'd bumped into exclaimed. He leered down at the girl. "You're a Fullmetal Alchemist fangirl, aren't you? You girls think you can do anything, don't you? Just because some guy is the youngest state alchemist ever!" He sounded. . . bitter, almost. "I bet I'm just as good as that phony!"

Ed rolled her eyes. "No, you're not."

The man glared. "You wanna go, bitch?"

Ed shrugged. "I wouldn't mind, but I have the feeling my friends and family would prefer I don't waste my time with a lowlife like you."

"THAT'S IT!"

Ed slipped into a ready stance as the man charged.

But his hits never came.

"Lay off the girl, Daniels!"

Hang on. . . she knew that voice!

"We know you're bitter, but you have to stop attacking Fullmetal Alchemist fangirls."

That one, too!

"True. It's how we keep catching you. Idiot."

Havoc. . . and Fuery. . . and Breda!

"Step away from the girl, Daniels."

Hawkeye. . .

"You're coming in this time for sure."

Falman. . .

_Oh shit._

"Are you alright, miss? Don't worry: the man who tried to attack you has been apprehended."

_ShitshitshitshitSHIT._

"He's bitter because he feels like he should have become a State Alchemist rather than Fullmetal. It's fine now- Hey, where are you going?!"

Ed ran.

"Wait, miss!"

_No, no, no! Not waiting. Waiting equals being caught. Being caught equals being questioned. Being questioned equals being found out. Equivalent exchange. . . so that chain can never start! I've been lying to the state for YEARS now! There would have to be SOME retribution!_

Ed was a golden wind, fast and furious and whipping through the crowds of Central like a whirlwind; there, then gone.

Finally, when she thought she was safe. . .

"Excuse me, ma'am, but are you okay?"

_If before was shit, now is hell. If there is a hell in this damn world, I am in it._

"Are you alright?" Colonel Roy Mustang asked again.

"No, I'm not," Ed snapped back. "I am in hell."

Mustang looked taken aback. "Ma'am?"

"Everything has gone to hell in the space of a few minutes," Ed continued, turning towards the Colonel. _Colonel Bastard. . ._

"You look. . . familiar," Mustang ventured, realizing that this girl looked remarkably like Fullmetal himself.

Ed rolled her eyes. "Unsurprising. You're the Flame Alchemist, Colonel Roy Mustang. I know who you are."

Mustang was now completely nonplussed. Ed could see it in his eyes. "Well, you know me. . . but who are you?"

Ed smirked. "Ennaline. Ennaline Elric."

All pretenses Mustang had been keeping up dropped. "What?"

Ed laughed evilly. "Yes, I said Elric. Ask Ed and Al if you want more info on me. . ." Ed held up her hands and made air quote. "Colonel Bastard."

And she ran off, leaving a gobsmacked Flame Colonel in her wake, as well as an incredibly confused mix of civilians and military officers.

**Hehehe. . . wait until they find out, Edo-chan. Just you wait. . .**

**YAY!~**

**This is fun.**

***The Incident: Ed almost got caught because she was an idiot. In fact, Paninya found out, but she swore to keep it a secret.**

**So, yeah. That's all, folks!**

**Love ya! lulu**


	2. Chapter 2

**Heh. Hehe. Ha. Sorry. . . I'm slow.**

**So, more Fem!Ed! *sigh* I love Fem!Ed. I love Genderbent!RisemboolTrio. It's just. . . aaah. Fem!Al. Male!Winry. It's epic stuff.**

**Oh, and Male!Mei. Can't forget Male!Mei. All of this stuff is just fun. There's really not much else to say on the topic.**

**ANYWAY. . .**

**I really, really, REALLY wish I owned FMA (EdWin kissing! AlMei kissing! Royai kissing! Maybe even more than kissing. . . etc.), but alas! It belongs to Hiromu Arakawa. She did a good job, but still. . . *sigh* I want it so badly. . .**

**Oh well. Maybe I'll get it for Chanukah!**

**Roy: You aren't getting ownership of FMA for Chanukah, Lulu.**

**Me: . . . Or not.**

**READ STUFF!**

Edalia sneaked back into the hotel, desperately hoping that no one had managed to follow her. As she closed the door of the room behind her, she let out a sigh of relief. They wouldn't get her here. She had Al to protect her.

Speaking of Al. . .

"BROTHER!" the enormous suit of armor cried. "Where were you?! You were out for so long, I thought you'd been caught!"

Ed shrugged. "I almost was. No big de-"

"WHAT?!"

Ed winced at the explosion of sound from her younger sister. "It's not a bi-"

"OF COURSE IT'S A BIG DEAL! I knew I shouldn't have let you out on your own! You always get into trouble!"

"Relax, Al, it's fine. I don't think they suspect us." Ed frowned. "Although. . . Mustang might be questioning us soon."

If Al had a face, she would be frowning. "Why?"

Ed looked down and mumbled, "He kind of almost got me and he thought I looked like me so I told him that I was Ennaline Elric." She tensed, prepared for another explosion. . .

. . . that never came.

"I see," Al replied thoughtfully. Ed looked in wonder at her completely calm sister. "Well, we'd better brush up on our cover story. Ennaline Elric is our father's brother's daughter, but he died a while back and Ennaline started traveling around, seeing as her mother left them. Her family was an off-the-books kind of crew, so there probably aren't any records of them. She's good at alchemy and idolizes Ed. We don't see her often, but we are rather close." She turned to her older sister. "You got that, Brother?"

Ed nodded, waving a hand in a vague affirmation. "Yeah, yeah. Cousin, off the books, dead father, deadbeat mother, good at alchemy, idolize myself, close with myself. Anything I'm missing?"

Al shook her metal head. "Nope. Oh, and I'll be calling you Enna. Is that okay?"

Ed nodded. "Sure."

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Edward Elric, you better open this door right now!" It was the Colonel.

Al ran to the door. "Coming, Colonel!" She opened it to find a fuming Roy Mustang.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked in a forcefully calm tone, stepping inside. "I just met a girl who-" He caught sight of Ed and his eyes widened. "YOU!"

Ed cocked an eyebrow. "Me?"

"You're that girl!"

"Very observant."

"Enna was just telling me about what happened, Colonel," Al explained patiently.

Ed nodded fervently, even though she was grinning evilly on the inside. "Yes, about how you and your team saved me from that crazy guy!" She frowned. "But I could have handled it, you know. I didn't need help." Ed fixed her mouth in a pout, looking thoroughly put out.

Mustang looked like he'd been hit by a truck. "Y- You- Wha-" He turned to Al. "Care to explain this? _Properly?_"

Al nodded, helmet creaking. "Of course, Colonel. Enna is our cousin on my dad's side. We never met our uncle. He died a while back. Enna's mother left them, too. Enna is a traveler, kind of like us. I think her parents were kind of. . . under the radar, so I doubt you'll know much about them. We don't see Enna often, but she's really awesome! And she fangirls over Brother."

Ed blushed furiously. "I do not!"

"You totally do!"

"Do not!"

"Then why are you wearing that outfit?"

Ed opened her mouth to deliver a biting comeback, but found she could not. Instead, she turned away and stated pointedly, "You're mean, Al."

Al chuckled. "You're just upset because I'm right, huh?"

Ed privately thought about how entertaining it was to see the Colonel turn this shade of purple.

"This is just strange," he finally said. "You act so much like Ed."

"Like I said, she idolizes him," Al pointed out.

"Do not!"

"Haven't we already established that you do?"

"You- You- UGH!" Ed stomped off, slamming the door behind her.

Mustang's eyes followed her figure through the door before returning to Al. "Charming cousin you got there, Alphonse."

Al shrugged the best she could with the armor. "I think she's just in a mood. She gets mood swings a lot, you know. Kind of like Ed, only worse."

Mustang looked taken aback. "Worse? What could possibly be worse than Ed?"

"Well, her mood swings now are how Brother is normally, too. Imagine how Brother would be if he. . . you know." Both of them shivered in horror at the thought of an Edward Elric on his period. "It's awful."

"I can imagine," Mustang murmured. "Thank god Ed is a boy. I wouldn't want to deal with a demon every month."

Al shifted nervously before murmuring her assent.

The Colonel regained his composure and turned to Al. "Sorry for barging in like this."

"It's all right, Colonel. I don't mind. Brother probably would have, so you're lucky he isn't here."

"Where is Fullmetal, anyway?"

"He went out earlier."

"I see. Well, tell him that his cousin is just as bad as he is."

Al giggled a little. "Are you sure?"

Mustang grinned. "Absolutely."

"Then I will, sir. Don't blame me if he breaks down your door again, though."

"He doesn't that all the time. This won't be any different."

"Okay then. Goodbye, Colonel."

"Goodbye, Alphonse."

The door close behind Mustang, and Al heaved a sigh of relief. However, she waited a few moments- waited until she'd heard footsteps down the hall signifying the Colonel's retreat- before calling out, "The coast is clear, Brother!"

Ed immediately walked into the room, having been listening at the keyhole the entire time. "Jeez, he's an asshole through and through, huh?"

Al laughed. "I guess he is, sometimes."

"No kidding! I hate him so much sometimes!"

"So you've told me," Al deadpanned. Then she asked, "So what's this about a crazy guy attacking you?"

Ed froze. _Damn. She's on to me._ "Oh, nothing!~"

"Ed. . ."

Ed sighed. "_Fine._ Some resentful bastard who thought that I was a Fullmetal Alchemist fangirl tried to attack me because I beat him out for a position as a State Alchemist."

Al groaned. "What am I going to do with you, Ed?"

Ed shrugged. "I don't know. Make me stew?"

She was out for the rest of the day from the smack to the head Al gave her. Ah, sibling love. . .

**. . . To be honest, I have no idea what to think of this chapter. So much of it was conversation. . . And nobody found out ANYTHING!**

**Don't worry, though! Next chappie will have SOMEONE finding out. . . just not who you might expect. Maybe it's Mustang, maybe it's not. You'll just have to wait and see! XD**

***sigh* I'm sorry I took so long to update, guys. I'm a lazy moron sometimes. I can try to be faster, but I will make no promises. . . COMPROMISE! YAY! Who doesn't love compromise? Well, besides everybody who lived ever. Because everyone despises compromise. Yeah.**

**I am a contradiction _machine_ today!**

**The word of the day is NURTURE! If you don't know what it means, buy a dictionary! Or look it up in a dictionary you already own! Or just use the power of the Internet! All three are valid choices. MAKE YOURS TODAY!**

**Yeah. I'm pretty damn bored right now.**

**Love ya! lulu**


	3. Chapter 3

**Honestly, I love this. I may not have updated it recently, but I think it's FABULOUS! XD**

**I'm on a fabulous streak. It is all I have been saying recently.**

**But seriously, I'm fabulous.**

**By the way, I now have an Alphonse hat, Mustang's gloves, and a "Team Edward (ELRIC)" journal. Like I said: FAB-YOU-LUS!**

**I should probably shut up now.**

**ANYWAY!**

**New chappie! And now. . . *evil chuckling* Now, the secret that Edalia has been keeping for so long. . . WILL BE DISCOVERED!**

**Oh, by the way, in case you were wondering, Ed has avoided discovery in the hospitals due to favors that the doctors owe to the Rockbells. LOL, I thought that was a funny idea. The doctors know Ed's a girl, but they won't tell because they owe Pinako or Winry's parents something. As for the bathrooms. . . (A) she doesn't go to the bathroom at headquarters, and (B) DISGUISES! XD**

**Hope that cleared stuff up.**

**Now, let's see what poor, unfortunate soul has discovered Ed's secret. . . *evil grin* *yuk yuk yuk yuk***

**Have fun!**

Edalia was cautious when she went to headquarters the next day. After all, she was sure the team was still reeling from her alter ego's appearance. Mustang probably told them all the story of what happened at the hotel. To be honest, even if she was nervous, she was also maliciously excited to see how thrown they were by this new development of an Elric cousin, a female version of "Edward". It was the devious demon in her.

Alleda was also curious as to how they would react to the idea of a female Ed. They didn't know they'd been dealing with female Ed the whole time, but their reactions would be both entertaining and enlightening. It would give the Elric sisters an idea of what would happen if their secret were ever discovered. Would they be shunned or accepted?

The two walked into the office.

Well, "walked" was a bit of a misnomer. Ed actually kicked the door down and bounded in, startling everyone who was working diligently (supposedly).

As soon as they saw who it was, a foreboding, dark mood descended upon the room.

Ed froze. Al froze.

"Fullmetal. . ." came the deep rumble from the Colonel.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US YOU HAD A COUSIN?!" the entire office staff (excluding Hawkeye) screamed.

Ed covered her poor, tortured ears. "Shut up already!"

Quiet enveloped the office, but it was filled with pointed glares.

"Well?" Havoc asked. "Answer the question, Ed."

Ed rolled her eyes. "You guys are overreacting-"

"NO WE AREN'T!" Havoc, Breda, and Falman shouted.

"ENOUGH!" Hawkeye commanding, letting loose a single bullet from her gun. The loud BANG! quieted the tumultuous crew.

"That's enough," Hawkeye repeated firmly. "Give Edward some space."

Hawkeye turned her sherry gaze on Ed, who could hardly suppress a shiver. There was a feeling of extreme. . . um. . . uh. . . well, extreme-ness in general. . . radiating off the sniper, so strong it was almost tangible. Ed was thoroughly freaked. And the way Hawkeye was looking at her made her feel. . . exposed. Like Hawkeye knew every single one of her deepest. . . her deepest. . .

_Oh shit__._

Ed blanched. Hawkeye knew. That look in her eye could only mean that she had figured it out.

Ed cleared her throat and said, "Hey, Lieutenant Hawkeye! Can I talk to you for a second?"

Hawkeye hardly hesitated before nodding firmly. "Of course, Edward."

Ed led Hawkeye out of the room and into a deserted corridor.

As soon as they were alone, Hawkeye turned to Ed, arms crossed and her patented "tell-me-what-the-hell-is-going-on-here" stare.

"Care to explain, _Edward_?"

Ed groaned. "How did you figure it out?"

"She looked far too much like you and acted far too much like you. Add that to the fact that I've spotted bandages under your tank top before and you never use the bathroom at headquarters, and I was already pretty close to figuring it out. After that. . ." Hawkeye smirked a little. "Women's intuition."

Ed raised a skeptical, slightly concerned eyebrow. "So. . ."

Hawkeye frowned. "So what, Ed?" When Ed still hadn't continued, she commanded, "Spit it out."

Ed grimaced. Closing her eyes, she muttered, "Has this changed your opinion of me? Now that you know the truth?"

For a moment, Hawkeye was silent. Ed was prepared for the worst. The rejection. The distrust. Of course, how could anyone ever trust her again after she lied about something so huge?

"Of course not."

Ed blinked, glancing up in shock. "What?"

Hawkeye stared unerringly into Ed's eyes. "Why would this change my opinion of you? You're still Ed. That hasn't changed. Just because you're really a female doesn't change your whole personality. It's just your outside. On the inside. . ." Here, Hawkeye paused, smiling softly at the confused alchemist before her. "Inside, you're the same child who just wanted to see your mother smile again. The same child who couldn't let death take away the only family you had left. You beat the odds, Ed. Male or female, you still beat the odds."

For a moment, Ed was frozen in amazement. Then, slowly, a grin appeared, and then she was hugging Hawkeye.

"Thank you so much," she whispered happily.

Hawkeye blinked in surprise, then smiled warmly at the girl. "You're welcome, Edward."

Ed drew back and grinned. "It's Edalia, actually," she announced. "Al and I said our names were Edward and Alphonse as kids, to trick the people in Resembool."

Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "Both of you did?"

Ed nodded, grinning mischievously. "Oh, yeah. Both of us." The grin widened. "Maybe you should be reintroduced to Al. . ."

Hawkeye shook her head, amused. "So when are you going to tell the rest of the team?"

Ed froze once more. "I. . . I'm not sure yet," she muttered.

"I won't tell anyone until you're ready, Ed," Hawkeye assured her.

Ed nodded distractedly. Inside, she was preoccupied with Hawkeye's question. _When will I tell them the truth? How will they react? Will they be okay with it, like Hawkeye? Or. . . will they be angry?_

"Ed." Hawkeye's voice snapped Ed out of her stupor.

"Oh, sorry," Ed said, shaking her head to clear her mind of the invisible cobwebs in her brain that were evidently screwing with her train of thought. "Anyway, we should probably tell you the story. Come to our place tonight and I'll tell you, okay?"

Hawkeye nodded. "Sounds like a plan. I'll see you at. . . 7?"

"7 it is."

* * *

". . . and then Ed tricked the Colonel, and now we're here," Al finished rather wearily.

Hawkeye looked pensive. "An. . . intriguing story," she said softly. To Al, she said, "So you're. . . Alleda Elric. And Ed's Edalia."

Al nodded sheepishly (if an emotionless suit of armor could be said to have a sheepish look about him or her). "Correct, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

The Lieutenant smiled. "Please, call me Riza, girls," she said to the Elric siblings.

The two looked up in shock.

"You two need a feminine figure in your life, don't you?" Riza asked. "You've only had your mother and Mrs. Rockbell. Well, if you ever need any advice on anything to do with this, I'd be happy to help. Woman to woman, yes?"

Ed blinked. Al would have blinked if she could. They turned to look at one another, then stared back at Riza.

Ed's face split into a wide grin, and Al squealed.

"Can we really?" Al asked happily.

Riza smiled. "Of course. Anything you need, I'll gladly help you with."

Ed smiled, eyes on the floor. "Thank you, Riza," Ed whispered happily. "Honestly, I think we need all the help we can get."

Riza sent a soft glance Ed's way before standing up. "Well, if that's all, I'd better be heading home." She collected her coat and purse before turning back to the Elric's to impart some last words of wisdom. "Don't hesitate to call, all right?"

The Elric sisters nodded.

With one last glowing glance, Riza left the room.

For a moment, there was silence in the hotel room.

"Well, that wasn't so bad, was it, Brother?"

A relieved but irritated groan. "Speak for yourself, Al. . . I haven't felt so nervous since that mob of fangirls tried to strip me in Sunecu!"

"That was your fault, though. You _knew_ it was a town filled with obsessed people, and yet you still flaunted your title and your watch around. How could you expect to _not_ be mobbed?!"

"I didn't know I had that many fangirls!"

This argument continued until Ed passed out from stress and pure exhaustion. Al smiled as she tucked her older sister in.

"I know we'll be able to make it through this, Sister," she whispered to the resting blonde. "We'll get our bodies back soon."

**Okay, so maybe the ending was a little all over the place, but so what? I liked it. Maybe it's a little short (not sure, too tired to go back and edit), but I still think it's sweet. I hope you guyses (hehehe) did, too! XD**

**So. . . yeah. Uh-huh. Yep.**

**The word of the day is FANTASM! No, this is not a real word. I made it up. However, I also have a definition for it: a fantasm is an orgasm brought about by fangirling WA-A-AY too hard, and the next thing you know, you're squealing and laughing and crying and grinning evilly, all at the same time. THAT, my dear friends, is my definition for this new word. You're welcome.**

**Love ya! lulu**


	4. Chapter 4

**More stuff. . . Yeah. Stuff.**

**Disclaimer:**** Don't I wish. . . *sigh* Alas, I am not Hiromu Arakawa, otherwise EDWIN WOULD HAVE KISSED! THEY WOULD HAVE!**

**BTW, I'm putting my friend's OC Toni into this now. Toni Rockbell is a somewhat close second cousin of Winter. She made an appearance in one of my other fics. She's a bit of a nut, but at least she's fun!**

**Okay. Here we go again. . .**

Ed groaned. The ringing in her ears wouldn't go away. It was too early in the morning to be answering phones!

"I'll get it, Brother!" Al said, rushing over to the phone. She picked up the receiver. "Hello, Alphonse Elric speaking." A pause. "All right, put him through." Al sighed. "Hi, Winter."

Ed perked up. Winter Rockbell, their childhood friend and Ed's automail mechanic, never called them at the hotel. Actually, he never called at all because he never knew where they were. It had to have been important if he was calling the hotel. . .

"Okay, Win. I'll tell her. No, it's fine! We're both okay! Don't yell at me, yell at Ed!"

Ed scowled at her younger sister. "Al!"

"Seriously, just talk to her." Al looked over a metal shoulder, somehow managed to give Ed a _get-over-here-right-now_ look without a real face to express it.

Ed groaned but complied with Al's wishes, dragging herself out of bed and stomping over to the phone. She snatched it and held it to her ear. "What, Winter?" she snapped, still peeved at being awoken and irritated at having to talk to her mechanic.

_"Is that how you address someone you haven't talked to for a month?"_

"Yes," Ed replied.

Winter sighed. _"Whatever, Ed. I called to tell you that Toni might come visit you soon."_

Ed immediately brightened. "Toni's coming?!" she exclaimed happily. "That's awesome, I haven't seen her in ages! How old is she now?"

_"Oh, 20-something. I think. Yeah, 25 or so."_

"Awesome! Did she get a job?"

Winter sighed heavily._ "Yes, she did."_

Ed could hear Winter's exasperation. "What's the matter with her job? Is it something illegal?"

_". . . No, it's legal. . ."_

"Then what's the matter?"

A groan. _"She's_ still _blowing things up in the job."_

Ed blinked. She then began to giggle. It quickly escalated into full-blown guffaws. "_That's_ what you're so pissed about? Wait, are you _surprised_ by this? Winter, it's Toni! She's been blowing shit up since we were toddlers, probably before that, even! Why wouldn't she be blowing shit up now?"

_"She's _supposed_ to be an adult."_

"Don't be so high and mighty, Mr. Grease Monkey. Your job is your hobby, too."

_"Shut up, alchemy freak! At least making automail doesn't involve taking down buildings, which is something both you and Toni seem to do daily!"_

"Because it's _fun_, Win."

_"Ugh! You're impossible."_

"So I've been told," Ed replied lazily, enjoying this careless banter. It was always like this between her and Winter. Ever since they were children they'd fought about the silliest things. An innocent discussion about whether or not it was going to rain turned into a big argument about who was better at making mud castles- and that was when they were both four or five. Now, they could be discussing what the date was and it would become a full-blown shouting match that covered everything from Edalia's nonexistent tallness and alchemy obsession to Winter's love for automail and the teddy bear he still slept with that Ed and Al had made when they were kids.

_"Shut up."_

"Fine. So, Toni might stop by?"

_"Uh, no. She _will_ stop by. I gave her the address to the hotel you guys always stay at. Told her to go there and ask for 'the Elric brothers.' I think she might have cried tears of laughter when I said that. . . She still can't believe everyone thinks you and Al are guys."_

Ed jumped up in excitement. "She's definitely coming?! When?! Tell me!"

_"She should be there in an hour or so. She left Risembool yesterday."_

"Great! Thanks, Win!"

_"Do your maintenance, Ed."_

An eye roll. "Sure, Winter. Bye!" Ed hung up the phone with a sigh. "Damn, he always manages to slip that in there at least once. . ."

"Brother!" Al cried excitedly. "Is it true? Is Toni really coming?"

Ed grinned. "Yup! She should be here in around an hour!"

Al would have grinned if she could. "That's awesome! We haven't seen her since we were kids!"

"Yeah, since before. . . oh." Gloom set in as the siblings realized that they had not seen the older Rockbell girl in around 6 years. "She never saw you in the armor, Al."

"Yeah. What are we going to tell her?"

Ed flopped down on her bed with a sigh. "The truth. You know she won't fall for the 'it's a hobby' or 'alchemy training' crap. She practically helped raise us. She'll know we're lying."

"And that's if Granny or Winter haven't already told her," Al added glumly.

"Oh, right. . ." Ed said with a sigh, her frustration growing quickly. "Gah, she always managed to do this to us!"

"Do what, Brother?"

"Throw us off our game!" Ed exclaimed. "She's always been able to see through the lies, and her crazy zaniness makes her so unpredictable!"

Al giggled. "I thought that was why you liked her so much, Ed."

"Well, yeah, but still! She's so-"

There was a knock at the door, interrupting whatever Ed was going to say. "Excuse me, Mr. Elric?" a male voice called.

"What?!" Ed snarled.

To his credit, the man's voice remained unfazed. "You have a visitor."

Ed and Al both froze.

_It is Toni?_

"Oh, just let me in already! I haven't seen them in years, I have stuff to tell them!" a female voice called loudly.

Ed and Al sweat dropped. _Definitely Toni._

The door was slammed open. Ed and Al jumped and screeched, "WAAAH!"

"EDDY! ALLY!" a blonde blur cried, racing in to hug Ed. Ed frantically struggled in the vice grip of the woman, but to no avail.

"Save me, Al!" Ed cried, reaching a hand towards her armored sister.

Al shook her head frantically, hands up in an "I surrender" pose. "I'm not getting in there! I'll impale one or both of you!"

The door closed behind them as the poor man hightailed it away from the insanity occurring in the room.

As the _thud_ of the closing door echoed through the room as Toni turned her head towards Al. Somehow, the noise seemed to seal the doom of the Elric sisters.

"Good, we're alone," Toni decreed, setting down the still-thrashing Ed. "Now I can speak freely to you idiots."

Ed and Al gulped audibly and exchanged a glance. _She knows._

Toni frowned, blue eyes flashing. "So. . . you committed the taboo." Ed could have sworn thunder echoed throughout the halls of the hotel at that deceptively simple and painfully loaded sentence.

Ed nodded slowly. "Y-Yeah. We. . . we did, Toni."

For a moment, there was no movement in the room. Toni glared at Ed and Al, who stared at the floor, embarrassed by their actions.

Toni sighed and held out her arms. "C'mere, morons."

Ed gratefully burrowed into the shirt of the elder blonde. She could feel the cool metal of Al's breastplate against her shoulder.

"You two are such idiots," Toni whispered fondly. "I'm glad you're alive, twits."

Al let out a choked laugh. "Yeah, we are too."

Toni released them both and stepped back. "Well! Enough with the mushy-gushy crap." She grinned a familiar crazy grin. "I'm here, ladies!"

Ed smirked. "You sure are, _vzryv devushka_*****."

Toni gasped. "_Vy izuchayete Drachman_******!"

"Don't get too excited, I only know a little," Ed said firmly.

"And that makes, what, five languages you know?!"

"No, only four, and that's counting Amestrian. Creta speaks almost the same exact language, but they call it Cretan."

And Ed and Toni were conversing like that. They had always been good at getting into conversations easily. Al just laughed quietly as the two discussed random things, listening carefully and contributing every once in a while to keep the words flowing easily.

Toni Rockbell, the crazy cousin, had arrived.

**. . . This chapter did nothing besides introduce a new character. _Nothing_.**

**Oh well. . . I still like it.**

**RFF!**

**Oh! By the way, I used Russian as Drachman. . . but I didn't use the characters of Russian, just the phonetics so that us non-Russian speakers can sound it out.**

***_vzryv devushka_: explosion girl**

****_Vy izuchayete Drachman!_: You're learning Drachman!**

**The word of the day is FIREBRAND! Ooh. . . makes me think of Mustang. . . who, by the way, should be learning Ed's secret sometime in the not-so-distant future. . . that is, if all goes according to plan, which it rarely does, so let's hope for the best! XD**

**Love ya! lulu**


End file.
